Monday, March 2, 2009

McDonald's where art thou...

McDonald's what are you doing with yourself!? Are you trying to lose my future business?!?!?

1st off, I love McD's, but only once a week at most.. If more then that, it starts to get to me..

On Saturday I found it was one of my coworkers bday on sunday, so we all planned to pitch in, and buy him a cake and a gift... So this morning I roll in with all the goods, and as I'm going around to everyone to have them sign it, I go to our intern in the service department, and he asks when is Pete's bday? I say oh, it was yesterday, but were having cake, and we got him a name plate for his desk. He then says, sweet! His Bday is on the same day as me!

I replied, "oh really? Are you serious??" He goes on to say ya, and then walks away after scribbling on the card.. Just pissed.. (The kids 20, and spent it alone, I mean what am I going to do about it now?)

So moving on, I feel bad later on, as I bought candles, a cake, a card, and a gift for one person, and not the intern in back..

It hits me! I'LL BUY THE YOUNG LAD A MCD's BDAY CAKE!!
How great is McD's Chocolate Bday cake?!?!? It's to die for! I tell you what, I bought a marble shitty neutral bday cake for all of us today, and paid $20! It sucked, compared to what the sugary sweetness of McDonald's Bday cake... Mmmmm Mmmmm

Every little bite brings me back to the old days of the jungle gyms, and the ball pits that we used to hide in, so our parents couldn't see us, because we didn't want to leave!!

So about 20 minutes ago, I decide I better call the local McD's to make sure they can have one ready for me for tomorrow.. (2 Bday cakes in 1 day is a bit much.. 2 Bday cakes in 2 days on the other hand is just right)

In my dismay, this tween-ager tells me uhhhhhh, we don't have the Birthday cakes anymore.... and our store in Red Bud, and Columbia won't either because were owned by the same peeeeople...

I reply back to this kid who probably makes $5.15/hr ... "Are you kidding me?? What don't you have birthday parties anymore?? Is this the same McDonald's that was geared toward kids, and fun while eating??"

He replies back, "uhhh I don't know let meeee ask myyyy manager.."

I then say, "Dude, forget about it, McDonald's has gone corporate, hell they're going after all these yuppies who'd rather drink some mocha choca coffee all damn day then eat.."

He then says in his best stoner version, "Dude!! Riiiighhhtt on mannn, you'rrrree awesommme."

I then say, "No man you're awesome."

The last thing I heard before I hung up was, "ha haa Rigghhhht onnnn man.." CLICK

After hanging up with the tweedager, I decide to go to McD's locator, and call all the McD's on my route to work tomorrow.. In all I pass a total of 5, I repeat 5 McDonald's... How many McD's?.. 5, yep not a single one carries the ever so delicious chocolate bday cake..


Ronald McDonald is rolling over in his grave right now.. How am I suppose to show my kids what life was like when I was a kid, if they don't have a McD's bday cake!!!!???!?!?!?!!?!??!?!!?!?

What a terrible start to my month, knowing that when my bday comes along, there will be no way of having a little slice of Chocolate McD's heaven...

128 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's awful Bro. The McD's birthday cake is my favorite too! Although since I'm an August birthday i always got the DQ cake; it's science.
I believe that g.f. still has them so next time you ever make it back into town, pick one up.

Big Bro

Unknown said...

I have 5 bosses, 5 bosses!

Jum said...

That is bad news bears. Why the hell would McD's get rid of those?

BrettB in STL said...

Five Matt... So that means that when I make a mistake, I have 5 different McD's I drive by showing me I missed them. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my hunger. But you know, Matt, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired/or eat.

Good luck with your firings..

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